Economics of the Dating Game

The Idealist’s Point of View

After reading taitai’s entry, I had loads of thoughts. And hence decided to give a perspective on my point of view- where love isn’t just for convenience.

Well first of all, I must admit that I do agree with a slight portion of taitai’s argument haha (so maybe I’m not THAT idealistic after all). And that is, maybe it might be true that at the starting point of some relationships, convenience MAY be a factor. Boy and girl meet, decide that each other is ok and give it a shot- tada! a relationship is formed. So maybe in some relationships, the initial starting point is out of convenience.

But to say that a relationship and a marriage are “are as much a function of convenience and selfishness as they are a function of commitment and mutual attraction”, I don’t agree with that. Relationships (and marriages) take loads of time and effort to maintain. To maintain a relationship, to really try to be together with a person, it takes plenty of hard work and commitment. And this will never be possible without love, or if the relationship is just a function of convenience.

Sure, some relationships exist because of mutual convenience to both parties. Some exist because both parties are lonely and need support (i.e. convenience too). But whether these relationships will last still depends on the amount of effort each party needs to put in to keep it going. And I highly doubt anyone will put in that much effort if the relationship is still based on convenience, and not some other factor (like love!).

Relationships are strange things. Many people have different thoughts about it. But after being in a relationship for the last 2 years and 5 months, and being in a long-distance relationship for close to 2 years, I’d say that whatever different opinions you have of a relationship, it’s not easy to make a relationship work out. I do put in a lot of effort. And I don’t think I’d be able to do this if I don’t love the other person, if I don’t think I want to spend my life with him. So even though love is an airy fairy issue and I myself don’t know how to define it, I still believe that love (together with relationships) are not just functions of convenience. To each his own, but to me, it is based on an irrational desire to be together with someone, to be willing to trust and spend your entire life with someone and the commitment to do so.

It's been a looong time since I've written some sort of essay, so pardon the errors! :D hope everyone's doing fine! :D

Optimal Resource Allocation

And the Economics of the Dating Game

From an economist's point-of-view, love and relationships are really just a series of successful market-making.

You may find the man/woman of your dreams, but if your love is urequited, it stands as a fantasy and not love.

You will then move on and possibly better candidates, or possibly not.

But eventually, the reality is you will not necessarily end up with the one you love or the one who loves you most. You will most probably end up with the person who happens to be there when you needed someone to be around.

In economic parlence, the market has been cleared.

Think of it this way: the supply curve represents the effort your are willing to put into jioing each girl/guy. Correspondingly, the demand curve represents the minimum effort each party would want to receive from you before committing into a relationship.

So when S>D, you can either scale back your efforts and target someone you think is less worthy (measured on the horizontal axis), or you can hope you strike lottery that will greatly boost your eligibility.

But the practical homo sapiens in us will normally just choose to scale back rather than hold on to the same target. So you'll move down the supply curve but, at the same time, liberated by your decision to move on, you will also find more candidates who are possibly more open to your advances too.

The process continues until eventually your efforts are recognised by someone who appreciates and voila! Love happens.

It may seem a little over simplistic as a model. But my poit here is this: love, marriage and relationships are as much a function of convenience and selfishness as they are a function of commitment and mutual attraction.

Putting things into perspectives, there is nothing that much glamorous about love is there now?

And if you insist that true love and selflessness can prevail, think again. If you hold out for the only person you think you love, is this mroe to satisfy your heart's desire, to get what you want? Or because you truly think you are the best for this person?

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Ok, i'm gibbering nonsense when i have a research paper to work on. But ok this can be my research paper haha. But no matter, time someone breathed some life back into this blog.

And just a disclaimer here: drew this lesson from collective experiences of others. So don't start any weird ideas pls.

I am as cynical as ever.