Economics of the Dating Game
The Idealist’s Point of View
After reading taitai’s entry, I had loads of thoughts. And hence decided to give a perspective on my point of view- where love isn’t just for convenience.
Well first of all, I must admit that I do agree with a slight portion of taitai’s argument haha (so maybe I’m not THAT idealistic after all). And that is, maybe it might be true that at the starting point of some relationships, convenience MAY be a factor. Boy and girl meet, decide that each other is ok and give it a shot- tada! a relationship is formed. So maybe in some relationships, the initial starting point is out of convenience.
But to say that a relationship and a marriage are “are as much a function of convenience and selfishness as they are a function of commitment and mutual attraction”, I don’t agree with that. Relationships (and marriages) take loads of time and effort to maintain. To maintain a relationship, to really try to be together with a person, it takes plenty of hard work and commitment. And this will never be possible without love, or if the relationship is just a function of convenience.
Sure, some relationships exist because of mutual convenience to both parties. Some exist because both parties are lonely and need support (i.e. convenience too). But whether these relationships will last still depends on the amount of effort each party needs to put in to keep it going. And I highly doubt anyone will put in that much effort if the relationship is still based on convenience, and not some other factor (like love!).
Relationships are strange things. Many people have different thoughts about it. But after being in a relationship for the last 2 years and 5 months, and being in a long-distance relationship for close to 2 years, I’d say that whatever different opinions you have of a relationship, it’s not easy to make a relationship work out. I do put in a lot of effort. And I don’t think I’d be able to do this if I don’t love the other person, if I don’t think I want to spend my life with him. So even though love is an airy fairy issue and I myself don’t know how to define it, I still believe that love (together with relationships) are not just functions of convenience. To each his own, but to me, it is based on an irrational desire to be together with someone, to be willing to trust and spend your entire life with someone and the commitment to do so.
It's been a looong time since I've written some sort of essay, so pardon the errors! :D hope everyone's doing fine! :D
After reading taitai’s entry, I had loads of thoughts. And hence decided to give a perspective on my point of view- where love isn’t just for convenience.
Well first of all, I must admit that I do agree with a slight portion of taitai’s argument haha (so maybe I’m not THAT idealistic after all). And that is, maybe it might be true that at the starting point of some relationships, convenience MAY be a factor. Boy and girl meet, decide that each other is ok and give it a shot- tada! a relationship is formed. So maybe in some relationships, the initial starting point is out of convenience.
But to say that a relationship and a marriage are “are as much a function of convenience and selfishness as they are a function of commitment and mutual attraction”, I don’t agree with that. Relationships (and marriages) take loads of time and effort to maintain. To maintain a relationship, to really try to be together with a person, it takes plenty of hard work and commitment. And this will never be possible without love, or if the relationship is just a function of convenience.
Sure, some relationships exist because of mutual convenience to both parties. Some exist because both parties are lonely and need support (i.e. convenience too). But whether these relationships will last still depends on the amount of effort each party needs to put in to keep it going. And I highly doubt anyone will put in that much effort if the relationship is still based on convenience, and not some other factor (like love!).
Relationships are strange things. Many people have different thoughts about it. But after being in a relationship for the last 2 years and 5 months, and being in a long-distance relationship for close to 2 years, I’d say that whatever different opinions you have of a relationship, it’s not easy to make a relationship work out. I do put in a lot of effort. And I don’t think I’d be able to do this if I don’t love the other person, if I don’t think I want to spend my life with him. So even though love is an airy fairy issue and I myself don’t know how to define it, I still believe that love (together with relationships) are not just functions of convenience. To each his own, but to me, it is based on an irrational desire to be together with someone, to be willing to trust and spend your entire life with someone and the commitment to do so.
It's been a looong time since I've written some sort of essay, so pardon the errors! :D hope everyone's doing fine! :D
posted by jilyn:) @ 1:00 PM
1 Comments:
At 1:49 PM,
huibin said…
haha i totally agree! being in a relationship actually brings about a whole lot more inconvenience because it's no longer about you and you alone and it really requires alot of effort to make it work. if we're all only driven by convenience and selfishness, i think we'd bail out right away!
(anw i defo didn't "lower my expectations" or anything like that and i dont think jilyn and the rest did too. some things, when it happens, just happens!)
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